22.12.11

Life in a Day.



This is absolutely beautiful.
If you haven't already--please--do yourself the favor of watching this.

13.12.11

Protecting the Polluters Ahead of the Protecting the People.

I'm on overload--I have much to do, and I have much that I actually WANT to do. The outcome of two exams (this week) will determine what I'm going to do next year, and I'm afraid that it's looking up to be disappointing in every way. That being said, something has happened that I couldn't help but write about:




I have never felt so ashamed to be Canadian--and no words exist to express the extent of the [highly negative]  feelings I have towards the heads of my country. 
Canada has officially pulled out of the Kyoto Accord. Not long ago, I had an assignment to study and evaluate the efficiency of several different Climate scenarios, including what would happen if we followed Kyoto; the results were bleak--fact is: it's not enough. But...at least it was SOMETHING. Now, we're left with nothing. "[Refusing] to adopt new emissions targets resulting in a zombie Kyoto Protocol which covers only 15 per cent of global greenhouse gas emissions".


Do I even have to write more? 
I'm feeling *aksjkjafli83wyrjfsdfncmbzI&?&YR#IQH*.
But this is not a time to mourn, this is a time to stand up stronger than ever. 
I have no doubt, that TOGETHER, we stand a chance. 
"This is not the time to mourn Durban, but to organize and create a just, sustainable future and celebrate the moment we reclaim our power."

25.11.11

The Power of Social Media and YOU.

Two days ago, I sent an e-mail to my MP and the PM concerning the Attawapiskat crisis. Spreading it through twitter, I wasn't sure how many people would take interest to my post. With the help of Leadnow.ca, the letter was spread--and people across the country have been spreading the words.
Yesterday, I received a reply from the PM office:


"
Dear Nessa Ghassemi:

Thank you for writing to the Prime Minister. In your e-mail, you raised an issue that falls within the portfolio of the Honourable John Duncan, Minister of Aboriginal Affairs and Northern Development.

Please be assured that your comments have been carefully noted. I have taken the liberty of forwarding your e-mail to Minister Duncan. I am certain that the Minister will wish to give your views every consideration.

For more information on the Government's initiatives, you may wish to visit the Prime Minister's Web site, at www.pm.gc.ca.

Once again, thank you for taking the time to write.

M.F. Bustos
Manager/Gestionnaire
Executive Correspondence Services
for the Prime Minister's Office
Services de la correspondance
de la haute direction
pour le Cabinet du Premier ministre

"

It's not much but it's indication that they have read the message(s)!
Also, the word spread to Liberal M.P. St. Paul's Carolyn Bennett, who sent a message to Minister John Duncan, urging for him to do something about the situation.
Read her letter here: 
http://carolynbennett.liberal.ca/blog/letter-to-minister-duncan-re-emergency-in-attawapiskat/


I urge every one to continue sending messages to their MPs, to the Prime Minister, and to Minister John Duncan. Our voices are being heard, let's not stop now!


For more information on what you can do to help the Attawapiskat First Nation, visit:
http://barnesmanagementgroup.ca/page/news/index.v3page


And see what Tom Jackson says about the Emergency on George Stroumboulopoulos Tonight:







23.11.11

Action is needed.

Please read this article:
"What if They Declared an Emergency and No One Came?"

Government inaction for the Attawapiskat First Nation peoples is disgraceful. They continue to live in deplorable conditions without any aid. It seems impossible to me that a country that is known world-wide for it's international aid (at least, it used to be!), would let this happen at home.
Stand up for their rights by writing to your MP and to PM Harper.

Here's an example of what I sent:

"Dear Prime Minister Stephen Harper and MP ________,

I am writing today as a concerned voting citizen of [Montreal], and resident of the __________ riding.

Three weeks ago, the Attawapiskat First Nation community declared a state of emergency, and yet since then, not a single federal or provincial official has even visited the community. We need to help the people suffering unlivable conditions, by setting up aid agencies or disaster management teams in the area. Families are facing "immediate risk" of infection, disease and possible fire from their increasingly precarious conditions.

The statistics of this area are shocking and need to be addressed: Presently there are five families living in tents; 19 families living in sheds without running water; 35 families living in houses needing serious repair; 128 families living in houses condemned from black mold and failing infrastructure; 118 families living with relatives (often 20 people in a small home); there are 90 people living in a construction trailer. There's a need for 268 houses just to deal with the backlog of homelessness.

Please let me know what we will do to protect our fellow Canadians from these dire circumstances. We have resources to help, and we need to give this community the chance to live in a healthy conditions that we enjoy here in the greater [Montreal].  

Thank you for your time.

Sincerely,

_________"
Don't let these fellow Canadians go without a voice.

-n.

[Thank you, Ariel Charney, for writing the first letter and inciting me to spread the action!]

[Edit: New development on Attawapiskat action here]

22.11.11

Wash my filthy hands / Don't you like what you see?

I love music. I especially love music when lyrics and timing come together in your life so perfectly. For so long now, I've been all jazz, all independant, and all-lovely/shivers-down-your-spine, but in the meantime, I forgot how much I really loved Taking Back Sunday.

[it doesn't feel a thing like falling]
You can't, you can't forgive yourself;
I don't blame you.
There's times I can't tell who you are anymore--
Or if I ever even knew you.
What exactly do you want to hear?
Yeah, what exactly are we doing here?

I can't feel a thing as I watch you move in and out the door.

/

[who are you anyway?]

When I assess the damage done,
Would I be smart enough to run
If I don't like what I see?
I don't like what I see.

I still have all these questions
(You're all talk; no follow through)
When I ask for an answer
That's when you say you'll have one soon.

Who are you to think, to think you're worth the wait?

17.11.11

ooooooooooooooh, dear.

ohdear,ohdear,ohdear!

i can't help it--i always venture back!
i suppose it makes me feel like i'm accomplishing at least SOMETHING!
i've decided there's no point in handing in my lab report--it's too late, by now--but i shall go in to see my prof about it, and ask for a review for the next one due in...two weeks!
i haven't been so happy and upset about the end of a week in quite a while--a bittersweet feeling overwhelms as my best friend will be departing for a full 6 months (at minimum) tomorrow night [insert very sad face]--i kind of hate her a little for leaving, but i don't, because i know i'm just the same. i know i keep saying this but i look forward to the day we leave on another grand adventure together!
(so many [!] )
tra la la, tears will flow--but it's happy for her, and it's happy it's weekend...because that means i have loads of time NOT TO WASTE in order to studystudystudy and get these assignments and readings done.
right?
RIGHT.
okay. i'm glad we got that out of the way.

i've decided on no material gifts this year (and for years to come)--no walking into any sort of mall, this season. i'll post on this development as soon as i have time to figure it all out.

OKAYOKAY, i should get some sleep.
long weekend ahead of me, need all the (little) rest i can get.

lovelovelove,

n.

15.11.11

procrastination [and it's discontents]

In a lot of ways, this blog has become a huge form of procrastination--lately, mostly. I'm digging myself a hole in a pile of university work that i really need to get myself out of. As much as I love writing articles about what I believe in (I've been working on a really good one about disposable coffee cups!!), I seriously need to cut off from posting [ :( ]. I'll be back, though! Just as soon as I hand in this late biology lab report on cell growth (bleh.), do the reading for Society, Environment and Sustainability...AND catch up on the past 3 chapters of Microeconomics. (HOW FUN.)
I've set my mind to get it done by Friday. Woo, motivation!
Til then,
lovelovelove,
n.

14.11.11

There's so much going on.

I just need to make an outline in order to remember everything I want to write about!!

- Development vs. Underdevelopment : Where do we fit in?
- Latest update on current campaigns against the Tar Sands, and involvement with Peace by PEACE!
- Thursday, November 10th and the awesome turn out of the Quebec strike agaisnt Tuition Hikes
- Occupons Montreal, Occupons Québec, Occupy the World
- Our Ecological Footprints! :)

My brain has literally gone on overload this past week, I am now holding on to a migraine since this morning. I have so much to do (SO MUCH), but my body has literally been protesting agaisnt it, having me sleep most of my week-end away. But that is over. Enough rest. Now I must get my act together and have everything done!

In other news, the Christmas lights have been up for more than a week now, downtown (WASTE OF ENERGY/LIGHT POLLUTION...but that's another issue), pointing out the fact that this semester is almost over and how crazy time flies! It's the season to be jolly...which is why I'll be writing a post (real soon!) about ways to make this merry season a very mery [green] season!! :)

lovelovelove

n

11.11.11

Our Idiot Brother.

Probably one of the best movies I've seen lately (other than Cafe de Flore...which is a in whole different category..and you should ABSOLUTELY go out and see it if you haven't already--absolute beauty.)

But back to "Our Idiot Brother": I have to admit...I'm very rarely a fan of american films; but this one had me smiling the whole way through. It's the kind of movie that makes you reflect on the life you lead: do we really need to take things so danm seriously? Is it absolutely necessary to land a 3 figure salary job, to have a big house, and cars, and I don't know--all that stuff people always want more of.

What it all comes down to is...people. If every one where to just put all barriers aside, and were able to say hi! and hold conversations about random stuff with complete strangers on the subway or on the bus or at the stop sign before crossing the street in the line to buy coffee--whatever!--things would be so much easier. 
I'm a people person. And yeah, I'm that girl that will comment on something super randomly--even though you'll probably just think i'm crazy and look at me weird. Does it not cross anyone's mind to simply give the benefit of the doubt? That maybe--hey! she's just an awesome girl. ? 

The thing I hate most about public locations like the bus or subway? When something really funny happens...like REALLY funny, like...someone says something COMPLETELY ridiculous (a joke or whatever) to a friend...and every one around doesn't react. At all. I mean...CLEARLY, every one heard the joke. The least  you can do is smile? 

But the best moment? When I giggle, or smile, at that event...and I lift my head and look at the random guy/girl in front of me, and he/she smiles too. 

See...that's communication! Or, at least a form of it. 

I guess this is why I love travelling so much--this is why I love backpacking. Because no matter which country you're in or from, what you believe in or not, no matter the language you speak or don't...you manage to hold conversations with complete strangers--and it never crosses your mind to believe that this person is bad or wants you any harm. (unless, you know, that person IS bad...but that's not the point!) 

I guess the point is...I wish people would smile more often. I wish people would take life more lightly, and notice the little things in life--rather than always focus on all the stressful bullshit. You know, take a breather once in a while...and notice maybe that one tree on campus that has leaves just a shade pinker than the rest--making it the prettiest. Smile, or at least acknowledge the person you sit next to in the lecture hall, or say hi! to a passerby. Believe that 'good' exists, for a minute or two out of your long day.

I suppose this veared off away from the initial point of this post...or maybe it didn't. It's November 11th, 2011, today. Which makes it 11/11/11. It will never (ever) be this day, (ever) again. So make a wish, Cross your fingers, and Believe, that maybe one day? It'll come true. 

lovelovelove,

n.

7.11.11

It either is or is not;

I'm having a crisis. Caused by reborn thoughts over existentialism, mixed in with a love/hatred for humanity.
I've been told that it's caused by the fact that I believe in the good of people.
So... am suppose to believe in the bad?
Because if so, I'm not sure I want to live on this planet.
Because if I don't believe that people could Change, I don't see the point in being here.

I believe that humans are fundamentally good.
That bad is a product of our surroundings, whereas good comes from nowhere.

Being negative brings us nowhere. And being realistic doesn't allow for progress. The only way to go forward is to dream. Dreams are the ideals that bring forward realities. And the only way to have dreams come true, is to push forward, be positive, and act.

Never stop dreaming.


6.11.11

Do you eat chocolate bars, cookies, chips, or granola bars?

If so, chances are you are contributing to the devastation of the wildlife-rich forests of Indonesia and Malaysia--killing a major part of the Earth's "lungs", and destroying the lives of wildlife and people. PALM OIL, is the "invisible ingredient" that is contained in so much of today's food. Pay Attention to what you eat--AVOID IT--and help save our planet.






Borneo 3D: 100 Days in the Jungle from Virgo Productions on Vimeo.

Youth = Change. WE ARE THE VOICE OF THIS PLANET.
Don't let them destroy OUR planet for their own profit.
Make a Difference.
Support the Eco Warriors of our generation.
Support DeforestACTION.


For more information on Palm Oil:
http://www.independent.co.uk/environment/the-guilty-secrets-of-palm-oil-are-you-unwittingly-contributing-to-the-devastation-of-the-rain-forests-1676218.html

2.11.11

So, who's to blame?

This is something I wrote way back in April 2007...

So deep down you realize you aren’t worth a thing. You live in a society that treats the rich as gods and the poor as insects. And in the middle? They’re just invisible. Every person has the right to have his/her own opinion. But that’s where it ends. You can think what you want, but it won’t make a difference to what is done. We’re all going to die in the end. What end? There is no end to this misery. We use to think that by now cars would be flying, fueled by water. Now, with toxic in our lungs and natural resources being wasted, we think the future will be better. The truth is, we all know it, it’s going to get worst. The rich will get richer. The poor will get poorer. There won’t be anymore middle class. And nothing will change after that. The ones who had ideas of change, will be put down because everyone is afraid to admit the damage they’ve caused. The intelligent are a minority and are often among the poor, what can they do? They’re crushed by everyone.  We describe animals as savages; we are animals. We’re all hypocrites. We pollute, we kill, we use, we throw, we poison, we spoil, we destroy, we dirty… WE are toxic. We’re all spoiled dirty killing bastards. Do we deserve…anything? Do we even deserve change?


Still true today [hopefully not tomorrow].



It feels like forever ago-- fifteen (how can I be nearing 20?!)

1.11.11

religious wonders:

I've been reading Life of Pi--which would account for all the religious talk.
I guess I don't know. I guess I love all religions. I guess all I disagree with is the bad that comes out of fervent believers--the one's who can't simply take it lightly. Essentially, God is love. So why does hatred come out of so many of his believers? I guess I have a hard time believing we could define right and wrong, other than by looking deep down inside ourselves--I guess I have a hard time believe Humans can define normal (who's normal/what's normal?)

I'm going to Ottawa this weekend; to the EcoMentors (check it out!) youth conference! :) Excited, excitement, but I've got another midterm looming around the corner--and I can't help but feel helpless--and I can't help but feel my eyes sink in at the thought of the next week of no sleep.


because there are all these doubts and--

"tout ce qui compte à la vie, c'est les rêves...les rêves et l'amour"

--All that matters are dreams...dreams and love.--


I'm going to miss our late night conversations, questioning life and death--illusions and reality--how to make a difference--and dreams of travels, travels, always more travels--the future and the past--but all that matters is here and now (most of the time).

I look forward to the day we'll be on the same train ride/same take off--the day we'll take over the world/the world over.

For now, know that I'll miss you--and no matter the doubts and insecurities--wish you the funnest of times, while you fully take advantage of our youth (just do it!)

Je t'aime, grosse bouette <3


23.10.11

3:05 AM

I really need to get back into a habit of sleeping early.

In Italy, I actually went through a period where I had absolutely no "dark circles" under my eyes. I went to bed before 12:00AM and woke up at before 9:00AM and it was bliss. 


Anyway, enough of this--I have work in the morning.



PS. There's more to what I said last time--I can't seem to find the words to express what I truly feel about it all. I don't think I'm better because of what I believe in (that would defeat the point)...I guess the jist of it is: if you're going to believe in something, be sure you know everything  about it first--all of the history, the good and the bad--but most importantly? Don't push a person out of your life, or rule them out, or insult them, or degrade them, just because he/she doesn't believe in the same God as you.

20.10.11

Oh dear...

Lately, I've encountered the dilemma of expressing 'feelings' that are usually defined by saying things like "Holy Hell"; "Oh my God"; or "Sweet Jesus"--without actually referring to anything religious. Because I'm as far as being religious as possible, it seems a little ridiculous for me to refer to 'possibilities' that I don't believe in...now I know what your reaction was: *GASP*! 
But it's true. I think religions are fascinating, and I believe it's important for every one to learn about them...but I can't help but find it incredible difficult to understand how people living in the 21st century could still be so bent on defending something that is quite--clearly--a work of fiction. LISTEN: I'm not saying that the foundation of religion is bad--au contraire, religion allowed society to move into more civilized times, by imposing moral values upon a population that lacked it. But that this complete devotion in something--that quite simply is HIGHLY improbable--continues in the modern day absolutely baffles me. I mean...people still contradict the theory of evolution--it's called a theory for a reason, guys... It's been proven, and there is no way around it. We wouldn't be here without it.

So maybe what you're thinking now is that I'm damned to go to "Hell" for what I just said; and of course, you'll be going to "Heaven", right? What if I don't believe in Heaven and Hell, what then? Religion is a safety net--it provides answered to questions we don't have the ability to answer--what happens when we die? where do we come from?--but that's all it is.

I believe in spirituality--and I believe that whatever we always refer to as "God", actually resides within us. I believe in Life. And though sometimes I wonder, question "what's the point?", and even--sometimes--wish that I believed in God in the sense of religion, I'm quite content with the fact that--as far as I can tell--I'm alive, and it doesn't matter that I don't know what's going to happen when I stop living--because why should that impact the way I live, now?

Religion--across history--has been the basis of wars, corruption, and violence. How can I believe in something that destroys the world I live in?

18.10.11

"because you have school" --PART TWO

I didn't know how to conclude my last entry, so I just left it like that.
I guess I should start by saying that despite my last tantrum, I don't plan on leaving my studies just yet...because I actually really love what I'm doing. It's just difficult sometimes to stick to studying Microeconomics when I KNOW that there is so much awesome things going on out there. 


"because you have school"

Hm. I still haven't decided if that was a valid argument against continuing my adventures around the globe.
Because as much as I love the classes and the opportunities I'm presented with at McGill; I still find myself daydreaming about the next country I will discover...and that makes me wonder whether I was actually ready to start university in the first place. Okay, Okay! Yeah, I was ready--that's not really the question--I guess the question is about my lack of patience. Because I know that this university experience is enriching and it will bring so much more to future adventures, and will actually get me a decent job that, in all likelihood, will love one day...
Maybe I'm just bothered by the fact that I will be turning twenty at the end of this year. Because, really? I'm undergoing the peter pan syndrome, and very seriously do not want to grow up. Why should anyone grow up? I guess I have to come to terms with the fact that growing older doesn't necessarily mean losing youthfulness. AND REALLY, twenty isn't THAT bad...right? Except that I don't have the security of the "teen" anymore.
So I've gone off on a tantrum--but I guess it all ties in back together.
I don't support the society we live in, and I don't think it's important to get a university degree under your belt by the time you're 21. Because you're really still just a kid at 21, and why would I waste my childhood?



11.10.11

It's been over 20 degrees since Friday! Bright and sunny and REALLY, who wants to study when you're blessed with this weather (after an everlasting grey week of colds and rain)?! It's not going to last forever, after all this Indian summer won't last forever.

I don't think I've clicked in on the magnitude of the exam tomorrow--would be wonderful if stress actually kicked in now. I'm thinking it won't...so I might sleep it into the morning.

Got my first assignment back! Frikken ACED it! Now all I have to do is actually put effort into this second one to get the perfect score.

At the same time, though? It doesn't matter.
Time seriously flies, but somehow I've found a way to make it last. The years flow by, but the days are long. And it doesn't matter that the sun goes down earlier than it did, or that shadows are slowly forming a permanent tattoo around my eyes--the colors are bright red, yellow, green and orange outside. Who can be angry? Who can be sad??

In the end, though, what I'm really learning is that Humans are the Cancer of the Planet Earth--and that's really unfortunate. Because I happen to love it here.

6.10.11

So it seems I've been living in an alternate reality--

I seem to have created a world where I don't care about the amount of assignments and the amount of studying that kepps piling up on my desk. One where I could sit on the couch all day and simply waste my life watching movies and TV shows on Netflix.

Okay, okay--I'm making it out to be a lot worst than it really is...but the fact is: I'm tired. Exhaustion exudes from every inch of my body. Now, I KNOW that it's midterms-season and every one's in the same boat, or a variation of the same boat, but ... BLEH. What really bothers me?...the cold I had starting the semester has decided to reappear--WITH A VENGEANCE. Because obviously this is perfect timing. Not only do I have a huge midterm on Tuesday on Resources, Population, and Food, but I also have a big assignment due on Wednesday (the idea is that they've encountered a new planet in the universe--and they want to know if it's inhabitable. So it involves insane amounts of calculations on earth systems, climate, and why or why not we could live there--but I'm over-simplifying here.) ON TOP OF EVERYTHING, this is the first thanksgiving weekend I get off since I started work at 16--since, every year, my family has been going on the annual apple-picking trip to Quebec city without me--but I'm faced with this dilemma: Do I stay at home, study and rest off this cold...or do I go? It doesn't help that work has been pushed back a second week...which really means I'm screwed financially for at least another three weeks. WHAT AM I GOING TO DOOOOOOO?

Anyway. I'm looking for a way to get more involved in student life/volunteering. So far...I haven't had much luck. To the disadvantage of someone who commutes, most comity meetings start @ 6 or 7pm...and I never feel like waiting around that long and always end up going home. I was going to apply to the Montreal Children's (I've always wanted to volunteer there) but due to overwhelming, they're only accepting new applicants in January. So I was thinking I may take it easy this semester. Focus on my studies (because, apparently, I haven't been doing so great at that lately), and maybe get a second job. Although for now...the only job I'd be interested in is at Lush. I guess we'll see!

x
-n

2.10.11

so what of friends?

what of friendship?
what of long conversations and plans to take over the world--the world over?
i can't summon the strength i need to let you go completely.
because...
"people, even more than things, have to be restored, renewed, revived, reclaimed, and redeemed; never throw out anyone" (audrey hepburn).
so i'll never understand how these things end.
i'll never understand how you can go one day together, and the next without.

she's leaving again--soon. off for another 2 to 6 months. which is fine. it's great! the only thing is that i have to expect to not have a best friend for that same amount of time. just like that.
she was never really good at keeping in touch, away. i still haven't decided if i should bother anymore.

in any case, midterms and assignments are coming up like a tidal wave--but it's fine. i'm not too stressed.
i've been doing good so far.

in other news? well, in other news...friday was an insane pile of fortunate events--that somehow ended unfortunate. the conclusion: no more vodka for me.
(because shit always goes down when vodka is involved)

-n.



22.9.11

Right! I've got to pull my shit together.
Enough buggin about and get things done.
McGill's rad-- every time I walk on campus I get all giddy just cause it's so pretty hehe
but I have my first assignment due on Friday and I haven't finished...it's quite important i don't fuck it up.
I really have my mind set on going to the University of Queensland next year so I have to keep on top!
there isn't much of a point to this post, just want to clear it up with myself i guess...but i'm thinking i'm going to have to cut the internet out of my life for a while.

13.9.11

i don't write anymore.
because...apparently? i need to be so inconceivably miserable in order to write anything good.
i painted the other day/night, and i loved it. but i lack passion--i lack talent. because most of the time, i'm happy now. so... what am i supposed to do?
give everything up so i can be what my body aches to be?

12.9.11

some days...every thing goes wrong.
some days...your life sucks.
some days...just NEED to come to an end.
and they do.
and just like that, you sleep it off, and you get a chance at another day.
hopefully tomorrow will be better.

7.9.11

McGill Rocks--

It's nearly been a week since the start of class, and all has been positive.
[apart from the price of my textbooks, and the fact that I need to buy a Macbook in the next week or so]
Frosh was a weekend of complete ridiculous fun, Friday is season opener in Football, and every one knows we have the best parties. Other than the insane moments of 'forgettingiacutallyhaveresponsibilities', my classes are great. All my profs are super engaging, and interesting people, some with whom I look forward to working with, and I've decided to only enroll in 4 courses this semester (with a possible 1 credit field study course in October), and don't plan on taking on many hours at work--in order to keep up on my work and get a GPA of more than 3.3 so I can go on a field study and/or study abroad program next year...Woo!
I reconnected with a few old friends over the summer, and it's been a blast.
Things are looking up, and I won't let them go down.

FALL 2011:

ENVR200-- The Global Environment
ENVR201-- Society, Environment, and Sustainability
ECON208-- Microeconomics: Analysis and Applications
AEBI120 -- General Biology (@Mac Campus)

7.8.11

it hurts when you have so much to say, but no amount of words could even begin to explain the extent of it all. see, experiences live within us and coming back? ruins the soul to pieces in questioning what if i had stayed away. but then, what if could work both ways.  i'm not sad, because every day there's a laugh, and every day there's new. the certitude and the trust in myself that i'll be on my way on another [adventure fits nicely, but all of life is an adventure, really] soon enough keeps me going. sometimes the heart fails you, however, and you begin to wonder if you're doing the right thing. going against the grain is never easy, and it seems every aspect of my life is a constant battle against something that's way bigger than me.

5.8.11

look, i know emotions are from the brain.
i know it's all up there--pain generates from there.
but there are just some days, some times, i just wish i could rip my heart out--
and feel no more.

4.8.11

Friends with benefits--

what if you were never really friends to begin with?
what is it then? "just benefits"?
but when the so call benefits aren't that great, what do you do?
do you block that person out of your life? or, do you keep the number safe someplace--just in case?
you know, the last resort of the night. it sounds awful but the truth often is, isn't it?
because when the feeling is mutual, it diminishes the bad.
maybe the problem is that the feelings aren't really that mutual.
maybe the problem is that you're actually not really into the idea.
the other problem is that it fills a void.
and you just want to get it over with.